The Fashion Police

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman well-dressed in Milan must be in want of a husband. ~ Jane Austen (modified by yours truly.) If I could summarize our experience in Milan, it would be that we were all severely under-dressed.

We are well-aware that my clothing of choice is spandex and a t-shirt. I would like to attribute it to simple living but the honest to goodness fact of the matter boils down to my inherent need for comfort and my severe lack of desire to go shopping at any time. However, my recent successful weight-loss journey has left me with a closet full of frumpities and over-sized clothing that in truth is not fit for someone approaching a quarter-century on this earth and so I picked up a few gems from Ha und Em (H&M,) to try and compensate.

Julia and I were to meet Colleen in Milan (as Colleen arrived a few days earlier,) and our plan was to go directly to the hostel, change out of travel clothes, and paint our pale faces ever so delicately so as not to embarrass the countries that we came from.

As we approached the address for our hostel, we came upon a building that looked to be run by the ghost of Christmas past. We rang the doorbell and were greeted over intercom by a woman you could describe as less than pleasant. Our interest was peaked as we entered expecting something from a horror film. This is what awaited us…..

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The hostel was simply beautiful. Marble staircases with the sun streaming through. And the scary sounding woman…. was simply a wonderful creature who we at caught at the wrong time. She was lovely. Unfortunately, we got to the hostel before check-in time and were unable to change and therefore proceeded to walk around Milan like the tacky-tourists we truly are.

In fact, at one moment, Julia looked at a chihuahua and said, ” You’re better looking than me, and you’re a dog.” These people had their animals adorned in outfits that cost more than my entire wardrobe. And so…to embrace our roles in the fashion capital of the world,

I posed with Versace. 2016-03-27 13.16.10 HDR2016-03-27 13.16.19 HDR

And with the locals.

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And even spent some time with Rigoletto.

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But the one who stole the show, was the Cathedral herself. Properly adorned in the beautiful Gothic style, she would have had permission to enter any of the fine retail stores we were turned away from. Even so, she had her own dress code. To enter, one must wear pants (Which I had thankfully stored an extra pair in my travel bag.)

Julia and I spent the afternoon laying in the sun before meeting up with Colleen that night. After an interesting excursion that ended with us climbing the gate attempting to reach our hovel we needed dinner and quickly hopped across the street from our hostel where we ordered a pizza covered in mushrooms, garlic, and all kinds of cheese. I wish I had a picture to show you but we ate it quicker than Bo ran the 40.

Our only true disappointment (well, perhaps aside from the canal that had less water than a proper bubble bath,) came from missing seeing da Vinci’s The Last Supper. It was sold out for weeks to follow. In our attempt to boost our spirits and keep the trip as low budget as possible, we cooked meals in the hostel, but we did find a moment to splurge on Tiramisu.

P.S. Julia swears she was actually happy to be in Milan. Perhaps her face reflects the lack of proper tea we encountered as we know the Brit’s are particular about their afternoon tea!

All in all, Milan was beautiful but Greece stole my heart. I can’t wait to share with you all the country had to offer.

For now, many blessings as always.



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